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The “Mujhse Na Ho Payega” Syndrome is real.

The other day, I came across an insightful video on something known as the “Imposter Syndrome”. The fact that it took my attention for more than 10 seconds and earned my forwards is definitely something to talk about. Basically, all the thoughts that go inside the mind of an individual ( men, and particularly women) that start from “Mujhse na ho payega ” (I cant do this) and end with “bas kismat see ho gaya” ( Just got Lucky) actually has a name.

The white paper by Harvard defines Imposter Syndrome as a “collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters‘ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence”.

A friend of mine recently got into IIT, and while you may expect a normal Indian to boast about it and become the “Sharma ji ki beti” kinda role model to add to the torture of the neighbourhood kids, She chose the discrete way. Mostly because she feels it’s a stroke of luck.

I also know a lady, who happens to be the best elocutor and manager you could ever find. Her experience and planning skills have the potential to give many meticulous planners are run for their money! But she’s always shirked away from taking up higher positions. Mainly because she did not consider herself very capable.

And then, I know me. The abuser of the “Mujhse na ho payega syndrome”. I started at the age of 14 when someone asked me if I could manage a 90% score in my boards and carried this reply in my heart and mind, every now and then,as I learnt to drive, travel and live alone, teach and research. I ended up doing all but without owning up the accomplishments, however little, for I considered myself a small fish in a pond of big, amazingly successful fishes.

The thing is, ‘Our perception about our ownself receives our least generosity. We are kind to the experiences and success of other people, but our own potential is ruthlessly compared with unreasonable standard, one after the other. Until a vicious cycle of Self-doubt- non-recognition and demotivation just makes our existence harder.

It is also more likely for women to attribute every good thing of their lives to luck or other external factors rather than their own hard work (No surprises* there), but, irrespective of the gender, self-doubt is gifted to us by the society that glorifies ‘Meekness’ and starts verbal battles about topics such as “feminism’ or ‘ Depression”! And if not that, then microaggression and power manipulation manages to subtly break our self -confidence.

So Basically, how do you start believing that you have what it takes to live, love and thrive successfully, at all costs , in all instances?

How will you stop shirking away from acknowledging your own worth ?

You tell me. I would love to hear and discover everyday, one day at a time with you. If I say that I have a ready checklist of all the do’s and dont’s for you, then wouldn’t it be a lie?

What I do offer you, in this piece of writing, is knowledge of an unconscious destructive habit that chops off your wings even before you take a flight, and that I think, is a big step already- Awareness !

I hope you we continue to discover more together. Dont forget to follow us on Instagram and Facebook.

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The Karavan Life is a blog started by two researchers from Jammu, J&K to share their passion for life with the world. The purpose is to inform, educate and entertain on all life-enriching segments be it- Food, Travel, Fashion or Lifeskills.